“The opposite of good listening is the desire to convince other people they’re wrong.” -Fred Kofman
Listening is hard.
Listening to a person I don’t trust is hard.
Listening to a person whom I believe has nothing worth listening to is hard.
Why do I interrupt? Is it to convince the other or disrupt their message from lodging in my mind.
Is bad listening rooted in fear? Fear of being wrong, fear of changing my mind.
I used to think that being open-minded meant my mind was like a box with an open side, ready to receive whatever I might put in it.
Now I think being open is to see your mind as a spacious sky and ideas like clouds. There’s plenty of room for the clouds, some of them light and unthreatening, and some of them dark and scary, portending thunder and lightening. The clouds come and go, appear and disappear.
Being open-minded is to allow for the clouds to be present without attachment to them – unless you want to.
Since I get attached easily, I don’t listen. I convince.
Oh, how to do the other…